Like an overzealous high school debater, they poke and prod and raise objections until the persuasive power of the message crumbles. Rather than trying to persuade people, getting them to persuade themselves is often more effective. Here are three ways to do that. Take staying at home. For young people who might resist, ask what they would suggest an elderly grandparent or a younger brother or sister do.
Would they want them out, interacting with possibly infected people? People strive for internal consistency. They want their attitudes and actions to line up.
Highlighting misalignment encourages them to resolve the disconnect. Health officials in Thailand used this approach in an anti-smoking campaign.
Rather than telling smokers their habit was bad, they had little kids come up to smokers on the street and ask them for a light. Not surprisingly, the smokers told the kids no. Many even lectured the little boys and girls about the dangers of smoking. Another way to allow for agency is to ask questions rather than make statements. And this shift increases buy-in. That makes it more likely to drive action. A doctor was dealing with an obese trucker who was drinking three liters of Mountain Dew a day.
She wanted to ask him to quit cold turkey, but knew that would probably fail, so she tried something else. The more confident you are, the more convincing your arguments are going to sound, and the more powerful you're going to appear. Confidence is easy to fake and hard to distinguish, so don't be afraid if you don't feel confident — just act confident, and that will probably be enough.
A study by the University of Leicester found that "the single significant behavioral difference between persuaders and persuadees was in the expression of confidence.
Confidence subtly implies that you're already convinced you're going to get what you want, which subtly influences the other party to give it to you.
Just be careful not to overextend your exhibition of confidence, or you'll run the risk of turning people off with arrogance. People are easily persuaded by logic.
When someone is persuaded to do something, they do it because they have come to believe it is the right or best thing to do. For example, let's say you're persuading your coworker to take on one of the more challenging pieces of an assignment you're working on together.
One of the more effective means of persuasion is making your request seem valuable for the other party. Doing so can be tricky, but under the right circumstances, it can be a perfect fit.
For example, let's say you're trying to convince a friend to help you move. Obviously, there's a lot of work involved with moving, and your friend may not be so willing to go along with it. Instead of talking about all the furniture you need to move, talk about how much fun it will be to go through your old junk, or about how you're buying pizza for everyone afterward, or how you're giving some old things away in the process. Certain words have an inherently higher value than others , and some words have more positive associations than others.
For example, "lucrative" is a more powerful word than "good," and "reasonable" is a more powerful word than "alright.
Your goal here isn't to inject big words into your sentences, but rather to arrange your sentences to ensure your meaning comes across precisely.
In fact, recent research has said that humans prefer cockiness to expertise. Ever wondered why seemingly clueless politicians and big wigs get away with everything? Why Sarah Palin still has a gig on Fox News? It's a consequence of the way human psychology works.
A consequence, indeed. Research done at Carnegie Mellon University has shown that humans prefer advice from confident sources -- even if we know the source has a not-so-stellar track record. If someone is aware of this subconsciously or otherwise , it can drive them to exaggerate how confident they are on the topic. Master the body language. If you seem unapproachable, closed off, and unwilling to compromise, people won't want to listen to a word you have to say.
Even if you're saying all the right things, they're picking up the words from your body. Watch your positioning just as much as you watch your mouth. Stay open. Keep your arms unfolded and your body pointing towards the other person.
Maintain good eye contact, smile, and make it a point not to fidget. Mirror the other. Once more, humans like those they perceive to be like them -- by mirroring them, you are, literally, in their same position. If they're leaning on an elbow, lean on the mirroring elbow. If they lean back, lean back. Don't do this so consciously it draws attention to it -- in fact, if you're feeling a rapport, you should do this almost automatically.
Stay consistent. Imagine a quintessential politician standing in his suit at a podium. A reporter throws him a question about how his support mainly comes from those 50 and older. In response, he shakes his fist, points, and aggressively says, "I feel for the younger generation.
What's wrong is everything. His entire image -- his body, his movements -- go against what he says. He has the appropriate, soft response, but his body language is hard, uncomfortable, and fierce. As a result, he's not believable. In order to be persuasive, your message and your body language have to match up. Otherwise, you straight up look like a liar. Be persistent. Alright, so don't badger a person to death when they keep telling you no, but don't let it dissuade you from asking the next person.
You won't be persuasive with everyone, especially before you get over the learning curve. Persistence will pay off in the long run. The most persuasive person is the one who is willing to keep asking for what they want, even when they keep getting turned down. No world leader would have gotten anything accomplished if he would've given up at his first rejection. Abraham Lincoln, one of the most revered presidents in history lost his mother, three sons, a sister, his girlfriend, failed in business and lost eight separate elections before he was elected president of the United States.
Method 3. Go for an economic incentive. You want something from someone, we got that much down. Now, what can you give them? What do you know is something they could want?
The first answer: money. Let's say you are running a blog or paper and you want an author to do an interview. Instead of saying, "Hey! I like your work! Here's an example: "Dear John, I noticed you have a book coming out in a few weeks, and I believe my readers, over at my blog, would eat it up. Would you be interested in doing a 20 minute interview, and I would feature it to all of my readers?
Opt for the social incentive. Alright, alright, not everyone is concerned with money. If that's not an option, go the social route.
Most people are concerned with their overall image. Socially, John has no reason not to do this and plenty of reason to. Use the moral route. Arguably this method is the weakest, but it may be more effective with some people. If you reckon someone wouldn't be moved by money or social image, give this one a go.
My big goal is to bring the insights from academic papers to the general public. I was wondering, would you be interested in doing a quick 20 minute interview? We can highlight your research to all of my listeners, and hopefully we can both make the world a little bit smarter.
Method 4. Utilize the beauty of guilt and reciprocity. Have you ever had a friend that says, "First round on me! That's because we're conditioned to return favors; it's only fair. So when you do someone a "good deed," think of it as an investment in your future. People will want to give back. Those pesky women in those kiosks at the mall handing out lotion? The mint on your tab at the end of dinner? The free Tequila shot glass you got at the bar? It's everywhere.
Businesses the world over employ it. Harness the power of consensus. It's human nature to want to be cool and to " fit in. Having a "herd mentality" lets us be mentally lazy.
It also keeps us from being left behind. An example of the success of this method is the use of information cards in hotel bathrooms. If you've ever taken a Psych class, you've heard of this phenomenon.
Back in the 50s, Solomon Asch conducted a whole bunch of conformity studies. He put a subject in a group of confederates who were all told to say the wrong answer in this instance, that a visibly shorter line was longer than a visibly longer line something a 3 year old could do. Crazy, huh? Ask for a lot. If you're a parent, you've seen this one in action. A child says, "Mommy, mommy! Let's go the beach!
But then, when the child says, "Okay, fine. Let's go to the pool, then? So ask for what you actually want second. People feel a sense of guilt when they refuse a request, regardless of what it is generally. If the second request i. The second request gives them freedom from guilt, like an escape route. They'll feel relieved, better about themselves, and you get what you want. If you want a project done in a month, first ask for it in 2 weeks. Use we. The use of we conveys a sense of camaraderie, commonality and understanding.
Remember how we said earlier that it was important to establish rapport so the listener feels similar to you and likes you? And then how we said to mirror your body language so the listener feels similar to you and likes you? Well, now you should use "we" Bet you didn't see that one coming.
Start things off. You know how sometimes a team can't really seem to get going until someone "gets the ball rolling? If you give the first bit, your listener will be more inclined to finish off. People are more likely to be willing to finish a task as opposed to doing the whole thing. Next time the laundry needs done, try throwing the clothes in the washer, then asking if your significant other would pick up your slack.
Get them saying yes. People want to be consistent with themselves. If you get them saying "yes" in one way or another , they'll want to stick to it.
If they've admitted they'd like to address a certain problem or are a certain way and you offer a solution, they'll feel obligated to see it out. Whatever it is, get them agreeing. In a research study by Jing Xu and Robert Wyer, participants showed that they were more receptive to anything if first shown something they agree with.
In one of the sessions, participants listened to either a speech by John McCain or Barack Obama and then watched an ad for Toyota. Republicans were more swayed by the ad after watching John McCain, and Democrats?
You guessed it -- were more pro-Toyota after watching Barack Obama. Be balanced. Despite how it may seem sometimes, people do have independent thought and they're not all idiots. Over the years many studies have been done comparing one-sided and two-sided arguments and their efficacy and persuasiveness in different contexts. He concluded that two-sided arguments are more persuasive than their one-sided equivalents across the board -- with different types of persuasive messages and with varied audiences.
Use covert anchors. Ever heard of Pavlov's dog? No, not the 70s rock band from St. This is just like that. You do something that subconsciously evokes a response on the other's part -- and they don't even know it. But know that this takes time and a whole lot of diligence. If every time your friend mentioned Pepsi you groaned, that would be an example of classical conditioning.
Eventually, when you groan, your friend thinks of Pepsi maybe you want them to drink more Coke? A more useful example would be if your boss used the same phrases for praise with everyone. When you hear him congratulating someone else, it reminds you of the time he said it to you -- and you work just a little bit harder with the surge of pride lifting your mood.
Up your expectations. If you're in a position of power, this method is even better -- and an absolute must. Make it known that you have full confidence in the positive attributes of your underlings employees, children, etc.
If you tell your child he is smart and that you know he'll get good grades, he won't want to disappoint you if he can avoid it.
Letting him know you're confident in him will make it easier for him to be confident in himself. If you're the boss of a company, be a source of positivity for your employees.
If you give one a particularly difficult project, let her know that you're giving it to her because you know she can do it. She's exhibited X, X, and X qualities that prove it. With the boost, her work will be even better.
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